The Power of Influence

One of the things I love most about my job is the opportunity it gives me to influence others. I influence others by my behavior…leading by example. I influence others by my words – those chosen in haste can never be unsaid. I influence others by what I leave undone – unfulfilled promises speak volumes about one’s character. It’s an awesome responsibility that I typically do not take lightly, although I have, on occasion, not measured up to my own standards. <sigh> Such it is to be human.

However, I do strive to behave in ways that align with my values, and I find that helps deepen my relationships and build my credibility. Acting with integrity is a key component to having influence. It is amazing what people observe when we think no one is watching! I always keep in mind that people may forget what I said, or even what I did, but will always remember how I made them feel. That is the power of influence. And it is a mighty sword, my friend…I advise you to wield it carefully, and hope that I remember this advice myself.

The Strength to Endure

We’ve all heard the expression, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade”…but has anyone felt the overwhelming urge to choke the living daylights out of the person who said it? Or, is that just me….

Truly, though we all at one time have had days where we’d rather not get out of bed, somehow…we do. Somehow, we endure. Somehow, we survive. Even on the darkest of days, a small voice inside tells us to persevere, things will indeed get better…and they always do. By revealing our true selves to others and reaching out of the darkness to grasp loving hands, we pull through the sad, lonely, heartbreaking times and find ourselves eventually back in the sun.

Wow, heavy stuff. Can you tell I’ve been doing a fair amount of soul-searching as of late? <grin> All I can say is…I thank the powers-that-be every day for the grand people in my life…it is only through their generous love that I am here today, basking in the warmth of the sunshine.  Thanks to you all…you know who you are.

Shari

Back in the Blog-Saddle Again…

My goodness! It has been forever since I’ve shared my thoughts in this forum. Did you miss me? <grin>

I have been focusing the last six months on surviving and thriving…in that order. Before one can thrive and grow, one must get through the rough times intact. And when one emerges from the other side, the light brings warmth and the sun brings hope. It is amazing!

So, yes…I am back. I’ll be sharing my thoughts here once again about training and personal development, and look for you to share a thought or two along with me. Shall we dance?

Pain: The Great Facilitator

Yes, you heard me correctly. Pain, as I have found recently, is the great facilitator: of change, of growth, of learning. Oh, yes, my friends..it is the pain that leads to the learning, and the learning that leads to the healing. I have recently experienced a severe loss and am here to tell you – if you are open to it, the learning is vast and inspiring. I have learned more about the good in people, and in myself, than I would ever have believed. I have learned that the sun will not only shine again but beats directly down on me. I have learned that I am stronger than I ever imagined. I have learned that although some people can be terribly unkind to others, they are the minority.

I have learned that pain, although not pleasant, is necessary to a certain extent. One comes to appreciate more the light only after one has experienced the darkness. I certainly feel the sweetness of life has been enhanced by the pain that engulfed me…now that I have broken free from it.

Take heart, my friends…goodness and light shall surround you if you invite them. Even though the shadow of pain is cast upon you – reach out to family and friends…their love will be a beacon for you, as it has been for me.

Someone said to me: “the greatest revenge is to survive.” I propose that the greatest revenge is to thrive. I thank all of you who have helped me to do just that – you know who you are.

Suze Orman is a Wise Woman

Okay, we know she is a financial expert who gives no-nonsense advice to folks who are struggling with issues of money. But I think she also has amazing insight into people and relationships. I was watching her show last weekend with my friend, Mari, and sat riveted as Suze signed off with what apparently is her tag line of “People first, then money, then things.” I was stunned by the simplicity and yet the power of those six words. In these trying economic times, we must remember that it is our relationships that sustain us. When the 401k is in the dumps and we can’t go out to eat anymore, it is the people in our lives that make it bearable. We really can survive a lot when we have our best friends by our side.

So, Suze, I raise my glass of (cheap) chardonnay to you and say – thank you for reminding me what truly matters in life. People first, indeed.

You Really Can’t Go Home Again

So, my hubby and I just returned from a trip to So Cal where we attended my 30th <gulp> high school reunion. I had really been looking forward to it – my expectations were sky high. Yes, it was fun to see a few special folks. For the most part, however, I left feeling – well – sadly empty. There was a ballroom full of people I hadn’t truly known when we were together everyday in school, and 30 years later, nothing has changed. It got me thinking about how much time I spend cherishing times gone by.

As wonderful as the past may have been (or not), it is the past. Something to be honored and learned from, and revisited occasionally with a smile. Not something to be lived in while forsaking the present.

Now, you may say, “Duh, Shari!” But haven’t we all known someone who consistently yearns for a “do over?” Someone who is so caught up in what could have been that he or she is missing what is in the here and now? In fact, I will admit to having done this myself. Recently I found my thoughts turning to “the time when” and wishing I was still in that situation. You know what? It’s a HUGE waste of time and effort, and does nothing except make me feel bad. And, as I approach the mid-century milestone of my life, I ain’t got no time to waste feeling bad.

So, a pledge – to live in the moment, and plan for the future. To appreciate who I am now and look forward ways to be a better person. To love those who share my life and find ways to serve and honor them as they deserve. This I solemnly swear. How about you?